Hello wonderful people! I’m in an absolutely amazing mood right now. Wanna know why? I put on a two piece bathing suit & felt beautiful.
Growing up, I wasn’t too confident about my body. I was an early bloomer, so my body started filling out before I even hit high school. To top it off, I was tall for my age so getting hit on by older guys was a norm for me (sometimes it would actually be a bit scary & intimidating tbh). However, people ,including family, would comment negatively on the way I looked. ‘Oh, you’re so big’, ‘oh my, you have stretch marks’, ‘you need to lose weight’ were some of the remarks I would get from people. Although I was flooded with countless positives about me being pretty or that I was very intelligent, to me, the negative completely outweighed them. To make matters worse, I was involved with a guy at one point who didn’t treat me very well & would say some of the most horrible things to me.
Looking at me, you probably couldn’t tell that I was struggling within myself because I hid it so well. I always tried to keep a smile on my face or I just wouldn’t really talk at all. During high school, especially earlier on, I barely said a word to people. I didn’t value my own self or who I was as a person so I didn’t try to open up or talk to people. I had my few friends that I trusted & that’s it.
Those were the people who really helped me out & somehow convinced me to really look at myself & value who I was because I truly have something to offer to the world. Then I became a YouTube junkie & really developed my love & admiration for the fashion & beauty industry. Putting together the perfect outfit & making it my own really boosted my confidence. Knowing that I loved what I saw when I looked in the mirror made me want to love everything I was as a person. This is one of the many reasons I’m working towards being a designer; I want to continuously recreate that confident, creative aurora. My confidence transformation didn’t happen overnight but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I think that whole experience taught me to value others based on more than their outside appearances & look at them completely; it truly humbles you to be honest.
I know I’ve been babbling a little but I just want to let anyone out there that may be struggling with this, you are beautiful & created amazingly & uniquely. Nothing that anyone says should affect the way you view yourself, you are who you are with all your quirks & imperfections. I love you, & you should love you as well.
I hope you found this enjoyable!
Peace, Love, & Positivity,